The Diary of a Fluctuater


Why do I Turn to Food?
February 1, 2010, 2:52 pm
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So since, I tried my very hardest last week to change my perception of red velvet cupcakes and my belly, I did a little research to attempt to find the roots of my problems. This is what I found… (more…)



New Beginnings Hit Hard, Trying to Stay Focused
February 1, 2010, 2:50 pm
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Well, after the ups and MAJOR downs of last week, I have decided to start from scratch.  I know this may seem like I am completely lacking any form of credibility, but (excuse my French) Shit happens.  Last week was chaos, working left and right until 3 AM in the morning thanks to awards season, and in the process two of my best friends decided they need “space” because I am apparently a BITCH for being too busy…. (more…)



Fear of Monday Strikes Hard – Weigh In
January 29, 2010, 2:41 pm
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Just a note:  Monday I plan to weigh myself again.  OYE.  I am scared.  I dont expect to lose a TRILLION pounds since I have been way to busy to even go to the gym, but I want to see a number less than 160.

Can we all ban together and PRAY for me! Thanks….



Day Four and Five: NEW MANTRA
January 29, 2010, 2:37 pm
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Apologies for not being able to write the past couple of days, but work has taken over for Grammy weekend!  Its a bonanza of parties, events, and WORK – all still very fun and oddly enough… its been helping me to keep busy, busy enough to develop a brand new mantra! (more…)



Boys Suck Just as Much as Inspiration
January 27, 2010, 2:15 pm
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Wanted to give you all a look back for a moment since in my life, there has been a massive correlation between BOYS and my WEIGHT and I even came up with a scale – How much do you have to weigh to get noticed by hottie in the corner while out and about???

A few nights ago I went out on the town in LA, some silly nightclub and felt pretty crappy even going out seeing as though the extra pounds don’t usually look so nice under a skin tight, HERVE LEDGER, mini dress.  But, despite my weight loss woes, I made my way out with a bunch of my girlfriends. (more…)



Day Three: Inspiration Can be a Bitch
January 27, 2010, 2:03 pm
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Well my friends, day three has commenced on my newfound weight loss plan and I’m feeling inspired.  Not the kind of inspired where you’re all happy and glowing because you feel lovely, but the kind that comes from shitty things that happen.

This morning, I made a pit stop at my office, where the staff hasnt seen me since I was 135 lbs about 3 months ago and whats the reaction I get? (more…)



Anonymity is for Cowards…
January 26, 2010, 7:26 pm
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So I guess at this point you may be wondering, who the HELL is this chick? – writing away about her weight loss woes?  Well I am here to give you some answers, although you may not be too pleased with what you hear. (more…)



Day Two: Mission ‘Say NO to Late Night Munchies’ Launch
January 26, 2010, 7:14 pm
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Well, well, well… looks like this little blog of mine is serving to be quite helpful!  Last night, after a day of eating primarily healthy, I did not succumb to the lure of the REFRIGERATOR in the wee hours of the night!

I sat in bed after my long day of school and work, running around like  chicken with  my head cutt off, wanting nothing more to dip dive into a bag of pretzels and a new episode of reality TV.  I did the latter, but said no to the munchies. (more…)



P.S. Today is my First Attempt (Or RE-ATTEMPT)
January 25, 2010, 11:02 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Forgot to mention that today is D Day.

Today I will start over.

I have to write it out on paper so that I know its true.

I will eat healthy.

I will exercise.

I will begin a new journey.

Oye.



Day One: Kind of Ready for a New Beginning
January 25, 2010, 10:57 pm
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So, after all has been said, all has been done, to my body in particular, I have started to think that I have reached rock bottom.  But that is indeed the biggest problem.  “I Think,”  usually doesn’t serve as a precursor for a new start jam packed with a wad of will power, a vivacious new outlook on life and the way I view food, or downright determinsim.  This can be a BIG problem, as it has been every single time I have attempted to mend my broken bond with food in the past ten years.

So how in the hell do I conquer my “maybe,” my “kind of ready,” my “I can probably do this,” attitude? (more…)




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